Diary Entry Exploring a Girls Struggle with Self-Worth Essay Example for Free

Diary Entry Exploring a Girls Struggle with Self-Worth Essay This morning, just like any other morning, I dreaded waking up again. I had to join reality, but I didn’t feel presentable to the world. I never do. A few months ago, someone told me I was pretty. I asked him to stop flattering me, I didn’t believe him anyway. I wish I could. I wish I could just be myself. I wish I could relax and feel normal. I wish I could just be secure. I wish I could feel good enough. But I don’t. Not by a long shot. I cannot believe I’m pretty. My hair is fluffy, I’ve got spots on my way too big nose, my skin is dry†¦ Those things are not the factors that define someone pretty. Those factors make me ugly. I have always had problems with people. From an early age, I learned that it’s not OK to be myself. My body, my face, my clothes, my words, my movements, nothing was good enough. It started off with my parents, continued with my classmates in primary school and has not stopped until now, high school. I was, am and will always be the ugly one. The stupid one. The wrong one. I am being bullied day and night, online and in person, verbally and mentally. There’s no one on my side, so it’s me against the world. They make up rumors, and I’m the one that’s in tears. They never think of anyone else except themselves. At first, I tried to fight back, but I soon found out that only makes it worse. Any word I say, gives them something new to dupe me. So, I decided to pretend I’m strong. And happy. My grades are at an all time low, but my morals are even lower. The only thing I do, is trying to make it through another day. I remember any insult that came out of their mouths, although I tried to erase them from my brain. Somehow, everyone of their twisted words manages to stay burned into my mind. Every snicker, every dirty look, every nasty word, holds a special place in my mind. But that place is not a happy place. It’s dark in there, unhappy and extremely miserable. It is kept under lock and key. You can never have your guard up all the time. You can never pretend you’re always strong. You can never always pretend your life isnt crumbling around you. You can never fake true happiness. Its like walking on broken glass. By now, I am so broken down, I’m losing it. I just want to disappear. I lost my will to live. To fight another day in that devastating world, is the last thing I want. I hate myself and feel incredibly stupid all the time, a feeling that never leaves me alone. I always wake up in the same miserable life. Then back to school. When I walk down the hallway, it is always a battle with my tormentors. People I once deemed friends and people I barely know yell mean things to me, in a way everyone can hear. Everyone makes up their audience. Perfect for them. Horrible for me. Getting back home isn’t any better. It’s even worse. My parents, my brother, my sisters. They are meant to love me, but all they do is making me feel even more insecure. Whatever I do, it’s never good enough. I try so hard to satisfy them, but I never succeed. It’s wearing me out. No one ever knows how miserably I really feel. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate what I see. I hate the sound of my own voice. I never before experienced a group of people trying so hard, to be so mean. To a girl. A girl like me. A girl like me should be loved. Most girls are. But somehow, that just isn’t for me. I’m not cut out for this thing called life. At first, I deemed it bad luck. Now I know better. It is my own fault, I am the ugly one. The stupid one. The wrong one. So, today, I took a pocket knife and I did it. I deserved it. In a way, it was relieving too. For a little ten seconds, I just stared at the blood running down my arm, on my hand, to my fingers and dripping off their tips. Fascinating. For that little ten seconds, I didn’t feel anything. I just loved to see the blood running down and down, to eventually leave my hand via my finger tips. It was like my misery ran down with the blood. What a disappointment after my ten seconds. I’d have loved to stay like that forever. But I needed to get back to real life, just like waking up every morning. Somehow, there must be a way to be in my own ten seconds forever. They wouldn’t care anyway.

Theodore Kaczynski Essay examples -- essays research papers fc

I. Life Kaczynski was born on May 22, 1942 to Wanda and Theodore Kaczynski of Evergreen Park Ill, a tidy and middle class suburb of Chicago. The second son Ted’s brother, David was born in 1950. As children, both kids were very reclusive, not playing with any neighbor children and rarely seen outside of the house. At a young age Ted started to show signs of being a gifted learner, he skipped a year in elementary school and his junior year in high school. Ted spent most of his early life studying math and science alone instead of being social in any kind of way. Ted had a different side to him though, he had a love of explosives which he homemade with his know how in the fields that he studied. Kaczynski was accepted into Harvard at 16 years old but he was finished before turning 20. Next he became a professor at Berkley university. In 1969 Ted gave up the job to live with his parents. He became fed up with his family and left for Montana in 1971 to live on the 1.4-acre plot of land he and his brother had bought near Lincoln . Once there, Ted built a small one-room shack on this parcel of land surrounded by dense deciduous forest. The shack measured 10 feet by 12 feet and lacked electricity and plumbing. Kaczinski lived by farming a few vegetables in his small garden and venturing into town only when necessary. It is unknown when Kaczynski started to make his bombs for the purpose of killing but his motives, the FBI believe are his beliefs about today’s society being dest...

De Havilland Essay

Executive Summary De Havilland is a major player the Canadian aircraft manufacturing industry. Founded in 1928 by a British company, De Havilland has had multiple acquisitions by various organizations including the government. As of 1992, the organization was co-owned by the government of Ontario with 49% shares and Bombardier Inc. with 51%. The company’s strategic goal is to keep their competitive advantage by focusing on cost reduction through negotiating long-term contracts with various vendors to capture economies of scale as well as set a fixed cost to secure price stability. Although de Havilland’s existing flap shroud supplier was unwilling to accept the renegotiated 25% discount to the current price, the company had more than a year’s inventory left with the contract expiring in 1993. De Havilland decided that it would be appropriate to solicit suppliers. Nine submissions were received, with the cost difference between the lowest and highest bid at $2,061,180. Based on the information provided it was evident that Marton Enterprise had the most attractive proposal. Issue Identification Long Term – Strategic * Contract between de Havilland and Dollard Plastics of Montreal, Quebec for flap shrouds for Series 300A airplane will be expiring at the end of 1993. * Dash 8 airplane represented 60-65 per cent of de Havilland’s total manufacturing costs * De Havilland buyer tried to negotiate 25% discount from Dollard, but was rejected * De Havilland’s BSB is trying to implement cost reduction strategy by: * Partnering with smaller base of vendors to capture economies of scale * Commit to long-term contracts for a span of five years with firm, fixed prices Environmental and Root Cause Analysis Founded in 1928 by a British company, De Havilland has become a significant part of the Canadian aircraft manufacturing industry. As of 1992, the organization was co-owned by the government of Ontario that held 49% of the shares and Bombardier Inc. owning the remaining 51%. With multiple acquisitions by various companies and the government over the past half-century, the organization has implemented several activities into their operations. These activities implemented in different stages of the supply chain have successfully provided versatility in satisfying customers’ needs, from procurement to production. During Boeing’s ownership, de Havilland experienced tremendous evolution in their corporate processes. In particular the purchasing cycle is a noteworthy system developed during this time. In Exhibit 1 of the case study the diagram demonstrates the step-by-step procurement process the company goes through when it encounters a design change/new design, requiring sou rcing of a new part that has not been previously purchased before. Parties that are involved are mainly composed of representatives from Finance and Material departments. The level of management involvement depended on the size of the contract. De Havilland’s current issue was selecting a new vendor to source flap shrouds from. Dollard Plastics, a company based in Montreal, Quebec has been supplying flap shrouds for their Series 300A airplane, but their contract was about to expire at the end of 1993. With parts costs of the De Havilland’s Dash 8 accounting for 60-65% of the organization’s total manufacturing costs, the purchasing department attempted to request a 25% discount from Dollard as a strategy for cost reduction. However, their request for a lower price was rejected. With the failed renegotiation, the procurement process had to move back to bidder selection board stage. In addition to the cost reduction strategy mentioned earlier, de Havilland’s objective was to partner with a smaller base of vendors to take advantage of economies of scale. They would like to establish long-term cooperative contracts (i.e. five years) with fixed pricing so frequent negotiations won’t be necessary . Based on the nine RFQ submissions from various vendors, Marton Enterprise Inc. offered the lowest prices. With the comprehensive data and additional information that Kim Tomar obtained, it was evident there was great potential in a long-term business partnership with Marton. The difference between Dollard and Marton’s normalized bids total for the program was a whopping $2,061,180 ($2,810,174- $748,994), which could be a substantial saving amount de Havilland would be making. Marton has stated in their pricing proposal that their bid is a stand-alone pricing. This could mean it would be difficult for de Havilland to discuss a lower price than the proposed. The vendor has also stated from past history material costs typically increased 4% to 6% per year, and with that assumption which they have accounted they are willing to enter into a firm fixed price proposal with de Havilland from August 1992 to July 1997. Although Marton’s initial bid amount is quite attractive, de Havilland will have to take into account the possibility of Marton overstating their position in order to acquire the bid. This may become a strategic barrier that could become costly down the road. Another reason for such a significantly lower price offered by Marton could be the fact they may be compromising the quality of the materials or services. Lastly, it could just plainly be that Marton operates more efficiently than other vendors, thus able to incur higher savings. Whatever the case may be, de Havilland should conduct a thorough quality analysis of vendor production to determine whether Marton’s quality and cost levels are aligned with de Havilland’s expectations. Based on the reviews of past purchasing trends, forecasts conducted by representatives from the Finance and Material department, the Bidder Selection Board should have an idea of how much the parts should cost and if the prices submitted are realistic. De Havilland should also keep the other vendors who offered close bids in consideration (i.e. DAS Composites and Lakesides Industries). These bids would help in the negotiation process in strategically obtaining a potential value. With Kim Tomar’s recommendation to the Source Selection Board, SSB should establish low, target and authority price levels for one or more of the vendors and see which group provides the best offer. In terms of power relationships, it seems like it is a fairly level playing ground for both de Havilland and Marton. Based on the comprehensive data provided by Marton and the side documents obtained by Tomar it seems like Marton’s well-prepared proposal has gained them a high amount of seller power in the negotiation. At the same time, with the favorable bids de Havilland received from other vendors, they would be able to use those bids to help negotiate a good deal. At the bottom line though, it depends on how much power each company has to make decisions or if both would require approval from the parent companies. Alternatives Alternative 1 – Select Marton Enterprise as vendor based on analysis conducted for negotiation Advantages: Â  1. Lowest bid out of all nine bid submissions, providing substantial savings in manufacturing costs, more than the original targeted 25% discount 2. Establish a long-term contract with fixed pricing reducing the need for renegotiations 3. Potential for long-term relationship that would greatly improve operational efficiencies Disadvantages: 1. Quality and service might be compromised to reap savings 2. Puts de Havilland at risk if partnership with Marton is a poor decision (poor quality, service), may cause ripple effect 3. No BATNA in case negotiation does not succeed with Marton Enterprise Alternative 2 – Select Marton Enterprise, DAS Composites, and/or Lakeside Industries as vendors for negotiation . Advantages: 1. Provides a BATNA in case negotiation with Marton Enterprise fails 2. May open up other opportunities with sourcing of other parts 3. Can be used as a good negotiation tool Disadvantages: 1. Time consuming, may require more management involvement in the beginning to make decision Recommendation Based on the comprehensive data provided by Marton and the additional information that supports the credibility of the company, it would be best for De Havilland to select Marton Enterprise as vendor based on analysis conducted for negotiation. Implementation 1. After all the analysis and normalization has been conducted, de Havilland should inform Marton that they have been selected as the potential flap shrouds vendor. 2. As a team from the source selection board that is made up of Finance, Materials, Engineering and higher management personnel, they should meet with representatives from the other party to discuss the finer details of the agreement 3. They should review the proposal once again as a group and make modification of estimates 4. With a lawyer present, write out the outline of the contract 5. Once a draft has been made, each party should review it and schedule a time to meet again to sign the contract 6. Supply of flap shrouds will commence Monitor and Control De Havilland should assign staff from the source selection board that is already familiar with the vendor’s representatives to meet with the other party for periodic meetings. These meetings will allow both groups to review the progress, discuss issues that may have arise, and perform periodic quality assurance checkups/inspections. These periodic performance reviews and audits would confirm vendor compliance based on the agreement. References * Module 2 Procurement_Candidate Manual 2013 1.0.pdf * Module 2 Readings Manual 2013 1.0.pdf

The Popus Murderer Do You Know Who It Is - 1158 Words

At the age of ten I murdered my nanny. To others, I say the incident was an accident. She just happened to slip and fall on the knife in my hand, which killed her instantly. However, I am the only one that knows the truth. After all, how could an awkward ten year old, undeveloped boy obtain the power to murder another being? On my parent’s fifth anniversary, seven years ago, they went out for a romantic night. Rosetta, our nanny, was taking too long to make my dinner. I got impatient. Without her noticing, I walked to the utensil drawer, pulled out a knife, and plunged it into her back. Blood oozed down our bodies like an exploded gyser, but I pushed the knife in farther. Her scream was the last noise she made. Until I turned seventeen, I could control my desires. Instead of hormones, I developed a force only curable with murder. To keep myself sane, I developed a two week ritual; the stability in my life. For a year now, every other Saturday night, I stalk and dispose of my p rey. Blonde hair and blue eyes is all a girl needs to qualify. As a teenager, I already made some risky slaughters. Brutal stabbings, poisoning, and disposing of a victim’s flesh through a meat grinder were my favorite. The island Popus served as the perfect location for my activities. The majority of the year, the sea is reckless, and the police officers were idiots, never willing to take cognizance. These factors made it easy to manipulate the police into thinking the ocean is the culprit behind